I will drive: Sensory sensitivities and driving
Some of my blogs are hard-hitting facts and some of them are “Katie Playfair’s theory of the world.” I’m going to preface this one by saying that this blog is almost entirely anecdotal observations and personal experiences.
I hate being a passenger in the car. I ask my husband to drive only if I’ve had a drink or if it’s snowy outside. (He objectively has much more snow-driving experience than me.) If you’d asked me two years ago why I always drive, I’d probably say something like, “I get car sick.” Inside I’d be thinking “Yes I do get carsick but also, I’m an inpatient, self-righteous jerk who thinks I’m a better driver than other people..”
My theory today is that it’s probably ADHD-related. Obviously, ADHD can impact some folks’ ability to drive effectively since paying attention is pretty important to driving. But a lot of ADHDers can get themselves into a state of hyper focus when driving and be quite effective! Many of my ADHD clients report that they find themselves in a state of “flow” when driving and that they don’t get distracted away from the task of driving. They’re “one with their car.” The most common complaint I see from ADHDers is that they can’t be a passenger. Why?
Most of us with ADHD have some sensory processing differences. There are times where the wrong smell, lighting, sound, taste, or texture can make it feel like my brain is on fire. I also know that I’ve had some binocular vision dysfunction since I was a kid. My eyes don’t quite coordinate right but I’ve figure out how to make them behave when driving. See Vertical Heterophoria for more information.
Forcing all senses into a state of coordination is much easier as a driver than a passenger. I can control the timing of starts and stops and a particular cadence that “feels right.” I can control following distance behind other vehicles so that my visual environment “looks right.” I can make the windshield wipers go exactly when I need the window cleared. I can make a few more parts of my world make sense when I’m driving.
When others are driving, everything feels out of synch, even if it’s not unsafe. Each “out of synch” moment becomes an irritating rub and eventually, it hurts. If this pain goes on too long, it can come out as irritability and intolerance of the person driving. And as understandable as it might be that someone has sensory differences, it’s unacceptable to lash out at others for their way of doing things.
What can you do if you’re someone who can’t stand being a passenger?
Become aware of your own sensory “load-level.”
Drive if you can. Why take on more sensory discomfort than you have to?
Use strategies to reduce perception of irritants. Can you close your eyes? Focus on something outside of the car? Look for birds? Eat a snack? Distractions are a tool!
Practice calmly explaining friction well before you blow up. “I know that you’ve been driving for years and you’ve never been in an accident. But something about close following distance makes my brain itchy. Could you give us another car length or two so I can calm that part of my brain down?”
Consider talking with loved ones who drive you places, when you’re not yet in the car, to explain that it’s not them but your sensory processing differences that’s agitating you.
I hope this helps you find more happy driving (or riding).